- started crawling and pulling up (no sitting still anymore!)
- sprouted a few more teeth
- transitioned from breast milk to formula
- introduced many new foods to her diet (new favs include black beans, pulled pork, and frozen yogurt pops)
- discovered some new sounds (da-da and rolling her tongue)
- and pulled out nearly half of her own hair (creating a mohawk of sorts)
While she's been busy growing up, I've been riding an emotional roller-coaster, wind slapping my face, hands grasping for something to hold onto, simultaneously enjoying the ride and wanting it to slow down. I've experienced immense joy and pride watching her develop and try & conquer new things. I've experienced excitement and worry as she explores the world around her. I've experienced hair-pulling frustration (literally) during the torturous process that is teething. Before I realized we had a problem, Sam had pulled out so much of her hair that she almost looks like a different kid. I've joked about it with friends, family, and neighbors, but honestly, it makes me anxious. I'm also humbled by it. I didn't realize how much pride I took in her full & fun auburn hair until it was gone. We are now trying to prevent it as best we can, which includes capping her hands with her sleeves while she sleeps. I think it began with teething but has become a comfort activity (and bad habit). She does it not only when her gums hurt but also when she's tired and hungry. My pediatrician was baffled when I explained it. In fact, she spilled coffee on herself and told me she had never heard of a 9-month-old with enough strength and resolve to pull her own hair out. I felt awesome after that conversation. I'm sad and confused by this (doesn't it hurt? won't something else satisfy? Not your beautiful hair!), and for some reason, I feel like a failure. Like I can't comfort my child, so she has to resort to self-injury. This may seem stupid, and it kind of is. But this is where my crazy mom-brain takes me at times. I am reminded, however, that this is another way to commit my kid to the Lord. I can only do so much to stop her from pulling her hair out now or dating a loser later. She belongs to the Lord. He's got her. Rest my burdened heart.
"Mom, I gave myself a mohawk. Deal with it."
Goodbye auburn locks, hello strawberry blonde peach fuzz
You can tell she's really focused when her tongue is out
No lack of smiles
I tell you what, Sam has been a relatively easy baby, but parenting is not easy. I'm flying by the seat of my pants, figuring it all out as I go. I need grace. Every day. Every second of every day. It is by grace that I can love and guide Sammy well. Lord knows the number of mom fail stories I have accumulated in just 9 months. It is also by grace that I can laugh at myself and remember that the failures or perceived failures don't define me, they mold me.
2 comments:
You are so right on in your last paragraph! Thanks for sharing all of this. We all could probably pinpoint at least one (probably more) area about each of our kids that is baffling, confusing, and leaves us saying "well, what am I supposed to do??" - and it all should point us to our need for God's grace, His wisdom, and His sustenance. There's no squeaking by in parenting thinking we don't need Him, is there?! Anyway thanks for the update, and Sam is adorable. Your caption about the mohawk was hilarious :)
God can teach us in so many ways, eh?
not totally the same, but david twisted his hair. he never pulled it out, but the "twitch" is similar: http://www.thekriegers.org/2014/03/filled-with-all-sorts-of-dread/
he doesn't do it anymore :)
by the way, i think her new haircut is super cute, even though the occasion for it was less than desirable!
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